Exercise: Who controls who?

There are things that just make you wonder. Who really did decide that running in place is actually fun? I mean what genius decided to create what we now call a Treadmill? Really it is just a hunk of plastic and metal with a spinning belt on it that has the power to hurl people through the air. And People even spend hundreds of dollars in purchasing these sophisticated running machines. But it doesn’t have a brain. There are no thought processes going through the machine itself. People tend to think that they are in control of these seemingly harmless exercise machines, but I actually think that the tables have been turned and it is the machines that hold our enjoyment and livelihood in the clutches of the on/off button.
When running on a Treadmill people foolishly just select a program, assuming that the 30 minute workout will be something that they can handle. At the beginning things go well, they are chugging along, enjoying themselves greatly when they suddenly notice a beeping noise. This noise indicates a change in speed and grade. Suddenly the once over confident jogger is now sprinting down a steep hill. If they stop the result would be disastrous as they would face plant on a rapidly moving object. Right when the human can’t take much more the malicious machine decides that there has been enough down hill and with three short beeps, the speed decreases and the grade increases. Whining with sheer delight the machine watches as the sprinter becomes a burdened hiker, groaning and breathing heavily the person begins the ascent. Their fate is determined by the will of the machine.

I liken this to that of a hamster running along on its wheel. It is quite joyous as it runs in place, the scenes outside the cage get no closer, but the little beast is quite happy. Suddenly an evil little brat of a child comes into view, she made her first appearance in the movie Finding Nemo and now instead of killing fish, she amuses herself with terrifying rodents. Seeing the little hamster joyously running in its’ wheel gives her a fabulous idea. Reaching into the cage, she gives the wheel a spin. Panic overcomes the hamster as the child gleefully sings to the tune of twinkle twinkle little star, “Little hamster on a wheel, let’s see how fast you can spin, round and round and round you go, like a Frisbee in the sky, little hamster on a wheel, let me sing this song again.” The wheel is now spinning out of control, the annoying song continues and the helpless hamster with eyes bulging scampers along always striving to get AWAY. This lasts for about 2 minutes as Darla sings her song for the 15th time. Suddenly bored, Darla reaches out and catches hold of the wheel, causing it to come to a complete halt. Unfortunately for the hamster, momentum causes it to keep moving. A large amount of thumping and thudding is heard as the poor little hamster crashes around the wheel as the realization that it can STOP running enters the scheme of things.
At long last the hamster sits at the bottom of the wheel, the world is spinning, its’ little head hurts greatly and its little beady eyes glare in the direction of where Darla was. Around this time Darla reappears with her uncle’s video camera, hitting the record button Darla reaches in and spins the wheel. At which point the hamster begins the process yet again.
The wheel = the Treadmill; Darla = the evil outcomes of the treadmill; and the hamster = us, the unsuspecting human who thinks that WE control the machine.
I came up with this particular illustration for the Treadmill, while running on one. I had selected a particular program called “Trail Run” and I felt, to tell the truth, a lot like that little hamster. There was no rhyme or reason for the gradient changes or the speed increase and decrease…it was like the machine itself was thinking own.